My woozy blog

or what?

There is this project I have in mind and nothing, really nothing is, like I wish it would be.
An apartment --- no biggie, I have tons, but those are apartments, even in reality I don't wanna live in. Except I have too much money and can afford at least 2 people, who are cleaning it every day.
With that said: Every focking apartment, cabin, house, whatsoever one could live in, is ways too big! 
Or, if it has the perfect size, the bathroom is always without a window, even worse, I've seen some without a window in the kitchen as well.

Ok, you can say now: Then model one yourself
Right!
But I can't, my brain just don't wanna do the job to understand the HOW.

So I dug out a trailer, a nice one to live in, but it's a Poser product, it's old (in 3d fast changing times, made in 2010) and to change all materials, all textures, it's driving me crazy. But it get's worse *sigh* the mesh is somehow --- not as I wish it would be.
Is it worth the work?
For sure not!

So why the heck am I doing it?

Cause I'm stupid, insane and idiotic!

And then I think, that I have enough of these pills, it would be so easy.

So why am I waiting?

Why?

Opened the page and saw a new link with the title "Best of me" linking to "The deer"

Now, if anyone could tell me, where this comes from? Because I haven't done it!
Or is it some kind of a hidden script, I don't know about?

3 days now since I was at the dentist, still not able to eat like I used to. 
Gonna see at the positive effect, my stomach is shrinking :D

Installed Gimp, I really would like to get rid of PS, this space eating program. And I found a tool, to get PS filters into Gimp, it's PSPI and it clearly states, I will be able to use "Flood" from Flaming Pear, with some restrictions, but it should work.
It didn't even show up

And I don't know anyone, who really could help me.

I don't know, what I've done, I don't know, how it happened, but the main page / landing page was broken. The picture gone, the html completely destroyed and the worst, I don't have a clue, where I've saved the backup file.
So I had to write it complete new, it looks different now, the links are now below the picture and for the moment, I don't even know, if I wanna change it to the old style.
Of course, I could write a style.css for it, but am ways too tired for it.

But I wrote some words about copyright and the strict rule against this damned AI.
Serious, I just don't like it, that people think, they are creating art with writing some words and let the AI do the job. It's not even work, cause AI don't work. 

But hey, finally the wannabe got, what they always were hoping for, the "make-art-button" without getting creative, without learning a thing. But calling themselves artist, that's such a bad joke!

daz studio has a very strict folder structure and it seems to get more and more difficult and extreme cluttered.
And always this one redundant folder with the vendor name. First, the name stands in the readme, at least it should. Second, I don't need the vendors name, I need the product name. But of course, that's an extra folder in the vendors name folder.
But that's not the worst, I get it, that vendors wanna see their names attached to the product, they've made.

Nope, even more worse, daz3d itself, the company many times buy a product from a vendor and then you get an extra folder on top, daz origianal - vendor - product name
And for everyhing, each folder, if textures or pose, or material and so on, has the vendor name folder again.
All is so nestled and redundant and the PC get filled with unnecessary bytes.
Well, we can top this, easily, because now everything has to come in at least 4K resolution and higher. As if any of this stuff will ever find it's way into the movie industry .... cause it won't!

So I install manual and then move the folders to where I wanna have them, leaving out often at least two redundant folder.
And of me, plants don't go into a "prop" folder but into a "plant" folder, to find the stuff easier as if scrolling thorugh tons of folders with a lot of utensils, furniture, weapon and what else.
Guess what *gg* 
Right, all these items got their propper main folder and all is sorted for an easy find

Ok, I hear you, I could go back to Poser, but serious? I really loved this program and used it for many years only, but Poser its time is over, it's not a matter of "if" but "when" And they still are selling it for a high price, while daz studio is free.
Vendors at rosity have raised their prices to earn at least some when on sale, but even on sale, paying almost 10 bucks? Sorry folks, I understand you, but my wallet isn't a money creating well. It's made from onionskin, you'll cry, when you open it.
So I rather buy at daz3d, when they make their dumping price sales.
Fair to any vendor?
Nope, not at all, I know. 
I'm a vendor myself, so believe me, I know, what I'm talking about.

Training and as less bread as possible. Much more healthy food anyway. 
Sweets, heaven, they aren't on my list since a long time now, only "sinned" some weeks ago with some chocolate.
The treadmill has become my friend and I really have to work against the visceral fat. With 81 cm waist, 165 cm and 60 kg I'm not in a risky group, but it isn't really healthy either.
Let's see, to get it down so I can wear my pants again

Damn, first losing my horses and because of that all in a sudden way too less activity, then the heart attack, getting not only depressed but having a lot of panic attacks as well, becoming even more inactive. I really have to change that!
Maybe I could write down, what I eat the day as well. Not here, this would become boring to read.

But for today, late up at 11 am, breakfast at 2 pm: 2 slices black bread, 1 with cheese and 1 with prosciutto and 2 eggs.
Gonna edit this post this evening, after eating, since I don't have a plan for it by now.
Btw. this was my first day with bread since a week, was only eating eggs in the morning and a warm meal in the evening.

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Ok,  8 pm, fried chicken strips and asparagus spears with a mixed salad of Ruccola, cucumber, tomatoes and garlic, olives and feta in a bit oil. 
And 2 oranges inbetween as well

Just wondering, is 1 cm down in a week possible?

More and more snow is coming, and the wild animals don't find enough food.
So I placed a pile with straw at the end of the garden, right into the path, were the deer usualy go. And every day I'm filling the pile with sunflower seeds  and very small apple pieces. Only that the apples are mostly gone before the deer show up, the birds are happy about those too.

The elm in my garden is now extreme busy with birds and since two days, I have the Yellowhammer there too. 

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Just a short note for myself. When I made the post on the 16. January, I didn't knew, what I know now. A huge amount of trust was involved.

I was just looking through the house, to find something I can use as a replacement between two cupboard elements in the kitchen upstairs.
Of course I looked also in the old kitchen downstairs and that was that.

Why have I ever agreed to remove all and everything, even the walls?
Why, why, why?
Because I really believed, that all the people who said, they are coming to help would show up. Even though I already knew deep inside, that Tjrven's friends can't be trusted.
Damn it, it's 8 years now and the kitchen is still a romm we can't use, cause even the fucking walls aren't in place!

We gonna sell the house ...
We don't need to to anything anymore, people will do their own stuff anyway ...
We don't need to invest work or money ...

And all I see is, that with every thing that is not done, the price will go down and maybe interested people won't buy, cause they wanna move in at once and not a year after buying.

And I can't do a thing! Cause I fucking don't have the possibility.
No material, no car to buy and even if, with what?

And then I see the pills in front of my nose and the question "Why not?" is getting louder and louder very fucking single time!
 

It's snowing and it seems, it won't stop at all.

Yesterday 2 deers came very close to the house, searching for something to eat. And all I have left in the barn is straw, no hay at all

I hope, I can mix up some food for them and also give them water to drink.

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And some pretty good news
I won in a render competition at renderosity, first prize and I'm very, very happy

This reminds me, that I really need some smileys for my blog here. If only my external hd would work, but this is broken and I don't have that much money, so I can send it to a professional repair station.
Not because of the smileys, but all my photos and documents I really would like to save.

Today, my living room got an update. Furnitures moved, plants got new soil, and some re-arrangements made it all even more cozy.

Sometimes I wonder, why I'm still doing it, since the plan is, that this year is the very last year in this house, on this farm. Fixing the problems, put in a kitchen downstairs, a drainage around the house, maybe a new roof and put it on sale.
And then?
Italy, here I come --- hopefully
or
find a place in Norway
or
take the chance to move to Denmark to this nice little island

Shall I play the safety card? That would mean stay in Norway.
Shall I go half safety? Then Denmark would be the next choice.
Or shall I follow my dream, take the big risk and jump? Well, then it's Italy.

And nothing and no one who could help me with this decision.
Almost 64 now, but still sometimes the wish to have someone around to make a decision for me.

Sometimes it really sucks being an adult.