Another phone call and oh my, it was so predictable.

The birthday held place in her apartment and all could have been so wonderful - right?
Nope! It wasn't.

The woman, she was talking with just 10 days ago turned now into "the woman who won't stop talking" and wasn't that nice woman from the last time.
"I talked with her at the phone"  and "she was just here to visit me" and "we are friends since"

turned now into the most awful person in this world.

Later, a friend came to go with her to the shopping center and it was all so nice.
But all in all, she don't know, why she got the wheel chair, cause she is scared, she can't use it alone, she don't have any help, no one will come to help and so on and so on.

And yes, I totally understand the worries from XYZ and ZYX, that she won't walk at all anymore.
That's what I said as well, the moment she sits in that chair and get used to it will be he last moment she walks.

I said it to her, directly and her answer was, I don't need to worry, she will keep walking --- as she is doing every day in her hallway.
It makes me wonder, if she really think, I believe that story.

And the basement is under water again.

Video is the farm only, not the basement!

Today was the memorial ceremony for Tony and all I can think about that is: Such a pathetic performance!

His son chose the biggest church in town, with place for up to 800 people.
And one should think, that there wasn't a place left, but it wasn't even half full.
The ceremony itself just felt wrong.
The psalms and talks from the priest, nothing fit to Tony.
It started with "Eg ser" from Bjørn Eidsvåg 
and the last verse is: 

I see you're afraid,
But I can't die for you.
You have to face him yourself,
But I turn death into life for you.
I turn death into life for you.
I have turned death into life for you.

Followed by some words spoken by Tony's son and it was nothing about Tony, but all about him, him, him and him again.
And the reading of all greetings from the wreaths ---- WHY? To see and be seen, only in this case to be named. Maybe the priest should have shown any wreath, to so people were able to guess the price?

The next should had been Radio Ga Ga and T. and I looked at each other, wondering wtf ...
The song was interrupted before the refrain, I laughed inside, and said to T. that it was Tony who stopped it.

After that, the priest talked about the doubtful Thomas, again it felt so wrong.
"Blott en dag, ett ögonblick i sänder" the psalm 249, one of Sweden's best known and most beloved Christian hymns.
and it seemed it was only about Tony's son and not about him.

There was a bit more talk from the priest, again, not about Tony, followed by the paternoster and symbolic throwing soil on the cascet "For out of it you were taken ..."
One more song: Thine be the glory
and he was carried out to the car.

And there was a silence in the church, that was unpleasant and when his son spoke, it was only about himself, not about Tony. Emotionless and two times his son laughed and the silence in the church became even more unpleasant.
When T. and I drove back home, T. turned the mobile on and played Dreamer from Ozzy and we both said, that's for you Tony.
Cause that was his ringing tone on his mobile, his favorite song. Can't even say, how many times I heard it, when I was in his Studio and the phone "rang". And not Radio Ga Ga.

All in all it was sad, that no one, even the priest, talked about Tony. Only the first words: We meet today to say farewell bla bla bla ... the priest talked a bit about Tony, but that was it.
And Tony's son had made it clear days before, that it will only be him to talk about his father, no one else.
The very best friends from Tony weren't even allowed to give Tony the last honor to carry his coffin.
Only the friends from his son ... WTF?

I should work as a fortuneteller, seriously!
If I only could tell the lottery numbers like I can tell, what will happen next.

I got a mail, subject "everything back" and that XYZ and her husband are back together again and wanna make a couple therapy.
So far, so good --- or bad?
I don't know that man, but I can tell, that nothing and for sure HE will not change. But who am I to tell? Right? So I shut up, as I've done all the past years.

And the next mail followed short after, subject "sad" 
quote: Now, all of a sudden, everything's different. I just hope that XYZ gets to experience everything the way she imagines it. As for me, everything will stay the same—I was so looking forward to going to Citti Park with XYZ tomorrow.
And that XYZ will celebrate her birthday back home.

The phonecall, the same subject and mentioned the birthday again.
So I said: Yes, where else?

So a last mail followed, how extremely sad she is, that everything changed and it hurts so bad.

Let me just point this out.
I said just 4 days ago, that it's only about her and no one else!

I should be a fortuneteller!

I'm sure you know the meme:
Some people just need a hug --- around the neck --- with a rope.

Well, I won't go that far but ...

I opened etsy, just to find some grumpy pictures, found some cuties for less than 13 nok  ($ 1.38)  
put some black color to it (black sheep of the family) and dark clouds, that's it.

Why?

Today I got a mail, as if never anything has happened.
Back to normal business, writing about the diagnosis, of course nothing new and asked, how I am.

Oh my, it's still freaking unbelievable.

The sun is shining, the elm has shed tons of leaves, the ash has maybe 20 leaves back, so time to start raking again :D

This is all so fecking unbelievable!

Our all so beloved drama queen is on it again.

After our talk on the phone I got a mail with the qustion: What do you have against XYZ?

Stupid enough I asked: What on earth could I possibly have against XYZ?
How did you even come up with such a ridiculous idea?

------------------------
Of course, the gaslighting came right after:


Translation: With no word did I wrote, that you have something against XYZ

--------------------

That her question  implied that I might have something against XYZ, irrelevant!

Her next reply: I asked a question. Since you denied everything I told you, and XYZ was just here, I need to set the record straight.

.... have I maybe forgotten to say, that this is tiring!?
Oh man, it IS!
I could have asked, what I have denied, but that would had ended with even more gaslighting

Never feed a narcissist! So I send back: 

It's all good—you didn't say anything, so there's no need to clarify anything.

I just need some peace and quiet right now because I'm not feeling well.

------------------------------

The sentence, that I don't feel well, not even a lie, it's too much stress for me.
But her reply was just so by the book and a memory about the time, when I was 16 was back right away.

Translation: I need some rest too, I'll be taken to the medical center now.

What was she hoping for?
That I ask her why? Or how? Or by whom?

NOPE!

I was 16 and there were many argues with her and when she felt, she stood no chance, her hand raised up, as if she wanted to grab her heart, sighed "My heart"  and sank to the floor.
3 times, 4 times, I don't know, but my younger sister worried sick every time, cause she couldn't see the evil game behind.
So I said to her, not to worry, that I will call the emergency.
Last time ever she plaid the "my-heart-game" and she was faster back on her feet than one can imagine.
Of course she came up with other stuff against me, to treat me like the black sheep of the family.

I'll keep the mails, my answers as well, if there will ever come a question about them, so I can show them, if necessary.

And I had the feeling, it would be good to see her.
I stressed about to drive to Germany after we were in Denmark.

Yes, the time was nice, she was really happy about it, but now --- back to old habits.
The Moor has done his duty, the Moor may leave

Until the next time, when one or both of my sisters say something she don't like and don't wanna hear.

Do I wonder? I man really? Nope, for sure not, but then again ...

There is a birthday today, a round one, 80

I was invited, but, sadly enough, had no possibility to go there. 
Too far away and too expensive

And of course I got a phone call today and even though, she didn't said it loud and clear, it was a complaint.
"So they're celebrating big times there today ... well, let them ... I was already told by XYZ that I don't belong there."

And coward as I am, I didn't say, that XYZ is right. I swallowed what I wanted to ask:
Do you remember, when you called her "big fat, stupid chubby cow"?

Oh she was so mean, put all the blame on a woman, who wasn't to blame at all but herself!

So the next question was: Do you know, if XXX still has contact with the birthday "child"?
Maybe she was afraid, that XXX could be there as well.
Nope, even without asking I know, that XXX wouldn't go there at all. Cause there was someone with her bad mouth, doing all and everything to make XXX believe, that the celebrating person was mean to her.

On another topic I told her about the death of a friend.
Her first question, after asking how old his son is, was, if the son will keep the studio.
*err* WHAT?
He lost his father yesterday!
And even if he passed away a week ago. What kind of question please is that?

She's asking me, she is telling me and I know for 100% she won't change a thing.
So why is she asking, why is she telling?

And her complains, I can tell her again and again, that my sister has bad times, very bad times --- and no, I haven't spoken with her, but I can tell anyway, damned, she is my sister!
It drives me nuts, when she is telling me, that she talked with XYZ or with ZYX and complained there as well and that these people are telling her exactly the same thing: That my sister isn't doing well at all.

So when the fork will she listen? When the fork will she have a little understanding?

Now she told me, that she will talk with my sisters, telling them about her fears.
Guess what ----- I don't believe a word!

Today I not only reached my goal, I really got further and am so happy about it.

#Inktober, the word for today, the 5th of October is SMACK

I had no idea, so I googled it and found tons of different picturs, about taste, about drugs, about hitting, kissing, everything someone could come up with for the word SMACK

And then I saw this adorable painting with Snoopy

I thought, that I found a side, that's worth it to get active.

Welllllll ----- guess what --------- it's NOT

Gonna change my avatar there and the banner and let the account dry out. Who knows, maybe a change will come?
Nope! Kidding, but just to take a look from time to time.

The sad thing is, a page where I was hoping for people, not completely brainwashed, is even worse.

Nope, not my piece of cake, I think, I mentioned it before on my page here: I'm too old for this kind of crap nowadays!